Late last night Humphrey the Royal Protection Officer sent out his number two frog in search for Drag Nets. Dillon (No.2) headed out towards Calais, he made good time avoiding the authorities. Attached to his back is the latest microsatellite technology, allowing constant information to be relayed back to Humphrey. Sadly, the tracker device stopped working about 20 miles south of Calais. Dillon has not returned.
BREAKING NEWS... I can offer you some good news. We have just got the word that Mrs Herbert the Giant 'female' Racing Snail has given birth to 10 new babies. Herbert is very happy and feels even stronger now to get the Queen of England's help.
Herbert has made a request- he wanted to know if there are any friendly families in England that could get a map, to direct them from Dover to London. If not a map then directions.
Must go now, work to do.
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